For the Ladies
I’m a man. I do not make hummus. I do not make hummus because I don’t eat hummus. Do you want to know what I’ve had to eat this week? Today? Ribs. Last night? Ribs. The day before that was BLTs (yes, there was salmon involved as well), and for the entirety of the week prior, I lived off pork tacos, Philly cheesesteaks, burgers, beer, and bourbon. I even went as far as to deep-fry guacamole (yes, it’s possible). Can you see a trend here? IT’S NOT HUMMUS. Yes, I may be eating myself into an early grave, but I will die having eaten my weight 100 times over in red meat, and will die with a smile on my face and a porterhouse in my belly.
So this one is for all the lovely, health-conscious, gym-going, cardio-loving, raw-carrot-eating, calorie-counting ladies (and gents if you’ve misplaced your man card). I’m doing this for you. I’m taking one for the team. I’m roasting vegetables and mashing them up into a paste and figuring out just exactly how this all works. And I’m doing it just for you.
My first thought for this recipe, I’m not going to lie, was, “I’m sure I can get bacon in here somehow.” And y’know what, I could. I could just grind up a pound of bacon with a cup of heavy mayo and call it, “Hummus for Men.” But I wanted to do something a little out of my wheelhouse. I wanted to do something for you, pretty girl on the other side of the screen. I even thought about the vegetarians on this one.
But don’t you worry. I’m not off my game. I know exactly where my man card is. And you can bet your ass the next thing I post is going to have bacon and bourbon in the recipe. But for now, let’s take a journey together down the path of pita chips and Middle Eastern dips.
By the way, if you want to get fancy, find yourself some pink peppercorns for this. They’re delicious, sweet, and have a subtle pepper flavor. Also, the bigger your salt flakes are when you finish your hummus, the better. This recipe will be on the sweeter side to appease that sweet tooth of yours.
Recipe is below.
15 oz. can garbanzo beans
1 large sweet potato
2 cloves garlic
2 Tbsp tahini
1 tsp. ground coriander
½ tsp. chili powder
Pinch ground nutmeg
¼ cup olive oil, plus 2 Tbsp.
1. In a food processor, pulse together garbanzo beans, sweet potato, tahini, and garlic. (I roasted my garlic first to tame the flavor a bit.)
2. Add spices and blend. While blending, add ¼ cup olive oil in a slow stream until well combined.
3. To serve, scoop hummus into a bowl, drizzle with 2 Tbsp. olive oil, and sprinkle with Kosher salt and pepper. (I used Cyprus flake salt for a heavy contrast, as well as some pink peppercorns that add a nice layer of sweetness to the dip)
Note: If you want to make your own chips, cut up some tortillas, brush them with oil, season with salt, coriander, and chili powder, then bake at 400°F for 5 min.
Make Hummus, Be a Cool Person.
I believe the good Lord Jesus gave mankind four gifts: almond butter, goat cheese, avocados, and edamame. You can do no wrong with these ingredients.
So the fact that edamame is being used today makes me very happy. Edamame is a superfood packed with protein (17g per cup), high in fiber, and loaded with vitamins and minerals. Eating an entire bowl of edamame is perfectly fine and not weird at all…? Anyway, today I’m taking America’s obsession with hummus and combining it with my obsession for edamame. And it’s fucking beautiful.
The New York Times recently reported that the hummus industry has grown from just a $5 million dollar business in 1997, to one that totaled $530 million at U.S. food retailers in 2012. Don’t buy pre-made hummus, folks. Don’t do it. This is one of the easiest snacks to make and it is so much cheaper than anything you can buy from a jar.
Here’s what you need: a food processor or blender. If you don’t have one, borrow one. Throw in your ingredients, hit “pulse”, and eat your hummus with anything.
I’m talking homemade pita chips, vegetables, put it on your sandwich, throw it on a pizza, use fried jalapeno chips, or just eat it with a spoon (seriously it’s fine).
Recipe is below. Enjoy!
1 lb. package of frozen, shelled edamame
Basil, to taste
1 Lemon, juiced
1/4 cup water
2 tablespoons tahini
3 cloves garlic, peeled, chopped
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cumin (more for taste)
1/2 cup olive oil, or as needed
Paprika, to taste
1. Heat edamame over boiling water. Drain, and put in food processor.
2. Throw in everything else.
3. Hit pulse. Add olive oil as needed to help loosen up the hummus. You want it to be pretty smooth.